The trouble with connecting


“Mom, where are you?” She screams as she slams the front door.

I make my way out of the office and look her over. Her eyes are squinting, fists clenched at her sides, posture stiff. She’s upset. She won’t cry though. That’s not her style. Instead she’ll stomp around the house, slam doors, and yell.

Such is the life of a teenage girl.

“Some idiot called me weird.” She complains as she slings her backpack into the corner of the living room. She’s been taking extra summer courses.

“What idiot?”

She waves me off. Not planning on giving me a name. “Do you think I’m weird?”

I smile and shake my head, “Of course I don’t.”

Her fingers move to her hair, twirling through her curls, pulling a few strands in front of her face so she can she the deep purple color. This is her look of the moment.

We have gone through the girly and pink and dresses, the tom-boy backwards hats and skater shoes, and now we’re on multi-colored hair, headphones, and combat boots. I think she looks cute.

She sighs and I watch her shoulders slump forward, “No.”

“Want me to go up there? I think I can take them.” I smirk. This does elicit a smile from her finally. No matter how many times I’ve offered, she has yet to take me up on it. But it never fails to make her smile.

See, the problem with connecting is finding those who share the same soul as you. The same dreams, and passions. No matter what they are. If it’s music, or writing, or chess, or math, or even the same choice in style. There are always others out there that will share these interests.

You just may not always find them close to you. High School is tough. You’re finding yourself. Figuring out what you like, don’t like, who you are. Teenage girls are, I believe, the cruelest animals on the planet.

We all want that connection to other people. To feel welcomed, accepted, and in High School that’s just down right impossible it seems. I try and remember back when I was in school, and I remember it was rough. But things have changed dramatically since I was in school.

These days kids have all sorts of ways to connect with each other, with all the various choices of social media. But even with all of those, it seems kids are less truly connected with each other than they were before. Yeah, you may like a post, a tweet, a pic; you may have thousands of friends on facebook, but the true connections are lost.

If you’re struggling to connect, finding that rough patch of high school, keep in mind it will get better. I know when my mom said that to me I didn’t believe her, but it is true.

And now that I have a teenage daughter of my own, I’m finding out just how hard my mom had it, and oh how right she was.

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